To Have Friends or To Be a Friend: Mind The Gap!!!

To Have Friends or To Be a Friend:  Mind The Gap!!!
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I have always valued the friends in my life. As a kid, there was nothing more exciting than getting to goof off with my friends on the playground. As I got older, my friends were the ones who have been there for me through good and bad times. In fact, the Friendsolder I get, the more I cherish the friendships I have. I know that if someone has stuck with me for this long, then there’s a good reason the universe brought them into my life. And while there have been many moments in my life where I find out who my true friends are, I believe each and every one of these experiences has been valuable and necessary for my personal growth.

You may remember my recent Drive-By Coaching video about repairing cherished relationships. I talk about reconnecting with Friendmy best friend since 9th grade, Terrence (T-bone), and how important this moment was in the evolution of our friendship. Yes, the dynamic of a friendship often changes over time, but as long as both parties realize this, the friendship can continue to flourish.

So, Let’s Mind The Gap! Having a Friend vs Being a Friend.? It’s easy to assume that just because you have friends also means you are being a friend and vice versa. This however, isn’t always true!

When you say you “have” friends, your mindset is about possession…which means it’s about scarcity or, further at the core, a fear of NOT having any friends. I’ve been there…so afraid of “losing my friends” that my behaviors only ensured I would! There is no love required to have friends…

being a friend, however and in my opinion, DOES require love…the willingness to be vulnerable so that you or your friend/beloved may grow! The friends we “have” are the ones we like to pass the time and/or do fun things with…but when we are BEING friends, we listen…we give…we support…we confront…we assist…we cheer…we commiserate…we inspire…we say thank you…we say I’m sorry…we say I forgive you…we say I love you!

When we focus on BEING a friend, we ask questions like, “what would a really good friend DO right now?’ and because you’re looking within to see what you can offer to the friendship. That is being the type of person that others WANT to be friends with (notice I didn’t say, “to have as a friend”).

12734211_10207293418266850_4598543372035574729_nForgiveness is usually something “a friend would do” and,?I believe forgiveness is a success principal mental health. But just because you forgive, doesn’t mean you are required to forget. It’s important to be mindful of what you’re forgiving someone for so you don’t put yourself in the same situation again. Perhaps you’ve heard me say “I will always love you more than I will ever miss you,” because sometimes we need to create more space/breathing room in friendships…we need to actually MISS our relationships in order to best LOVE them. There’s a saying that if you are not LEADING your peer group or being LEAD BY your peer group, then you need to LEAVE your peer group!

So, MIND THE GAP when it comes to the difference between “having a friend” and “being a friend” and focus on being the best friend you can be. Be someone that you yourself would want to be friends with. If you focus on your own actions as a friend and what you can control, you will attract higher quality friendships in your life. If you focus on just counting all the friends you have, then you will lose sight of what it really takes to create and maintain long termfriendship joy celebration Get A Klu friendships.

Friendships (have and will) ?come and go…but knowing how and a willingness to BE a friend is lasting.

During my visit to London for the 2012 Summer Games I got inspired for a blog series. In the London Underground, “Mind the Gap” is the constant warning to see and beware of the space between the platform and the train door literally a matter of life and death! Boarding my blog, however, is a 2-minute focus on the valuable difference between words or concepts that, without much thought, are used interchangeably.

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Coaching While Driving? Celebrating the Big 5-0!

Coaching While Driving?  Celebrating the Big 5-0!
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To kick off 2016, I created a series of Drive-By Coaching videos on goal setting. Now I’m back with a new Drive-By Coaching video and I’m here to celebrate the BIG 5-0 in the latest edition of Drive-By Coaching. No I’m not talking about 50 videos, being 50 years old (I still got a few years) , or a 50th anniversary. What I AM talking about is the celebration of it being 50 days into 2016! Can you believe we are nearing the end of Q1? This means NOW?is the perfect time to take inventory on where you’re at with the goals and resolutions you set at the beginning of the year.

First, I’d like to ask you a question: Would you be willing to give away 1/7th of your income? I’m not talking about investing or donating. I mean just throwing it out the window!?Most of you will?immediately say?NO. Well 50 days into the year is about 1/7th of the year, and if you are already falling behind on your goals (or if you still don’t have goals), you are essentially giving away 1/7 of your resources for achieving MORE this year.

Coaching Get A Klu ResolutionsNow, two more questions?: How are you doing with your resolutions? How are you doing on your goals for Q1 and your annual goals?

If you don?t have positive/measurable answers, then maybe you SKIPPED GOAL SETTING or have ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY in your life. Don’t worry, there is still plenty of time left in the year, but before you know it, we?ll be 100 days in, then halfway through the year!

Catch my full Drive-By Coaching video on Facebook to ensure you’re able to CELEBRATE the big 5-0 rather than read?that you’re already falling back into new habits.

If you want to make sure you’re getting the latest Drive-By Coaching videos, join The Klu Yard on Facebook. My videos are posted on Facebook?first before anywhere else.

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Goal Setting takes over Drive-By Coaching!

Goal Setting takes over Drive-By Coaching!
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We’re a week into 2016, do you have your goals set? More importantly, are your goals set up in a way that you can achieve them? Since it’s proven that?97% of the population fails to set goals, I created a?refresher for you with?a 5 Part Drive-By Coaching video series?about goal setting, more specifically on why we fail to set goals. (Drive-By Coaching videos are available exclusively on Facebook, so make sure to join me there to watch the latest videos).

I’m really motivated to get goal setting content out because I know most people who set?resolutions are already breaking them. Ivy league studies demonstrate that all high achieving individuals share in common the ability to set goals, so why do so many of us avoid?setting goals? Well, I explain why in each video, and also give solutions on how to overcome goal setting challenges. The great thing about these videos is that most of them are only 2-3 minutes long. You get the knowledge you need in the time it takes you to brush your teeth.

  1. PART 1-We fail to set goals because we have a fear of failure. I talk about getting over the ego and why this is necessary for successful goal setting.
  2. PART 2– We fail to set goals because we want to avoid negative peer pressure. We don’t want to hear our friends and family tell us that we will never achieve those goals. This is letting other people’s ego get in the way. ?I talk about the importance of only sharing goals with people who?support you.
  3. PART 3– We fail?to set goals because we don’t realize the importance of goals.?I talk about the law of recognition and how understanding?this helps us with accountability, visualization and ultimately goal setting.
  4. Part 4– We fail to set goals because we don’t know how. This one is simple, I go into my S.M.A.A.R.T Goal method and how this will empower you to set and achieve goals.
  5. Part 5-?We fail to set goals because DOING SO commits us to PAIN! ?I talk about the two types of pain we could encounter if setting goals and why they should NOT get in our way!

If you want more specific details on how to set goals, make sure to check out my?S.M.A.A.R.T. Goal Setting Webinar for Success. Wishing you all a happy, healthy and S.M.A.A.R.T new year!

To Your Success!
Jeffrey Klubeck, M.A.
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Happy KLU Year: 2016!!!

Happy KLU Year: 2016!!!
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2016 is here, and I always get pumped for the new year ?because it’s a great time to?reflect on all of the?successes and progress I’ve made. ?I’d like to share some of my proudest wins and I encourage you to take inventory of your own, because this can serve as a great source of motivation and encouragement for the upcoming year:

  • Business: ?Through an incredibly thoughtful referral, I landed a contract with new client (Chef Works, Inc.) to train their “Supervisors and up” on Coaching and Management. ?This is a GREAT contract for me personally as I get to lead the trainings and be the “head coach” in the program…but it also represents the growth of Get A Klu and our capacity to serve entire companies vs. just solo-preneurs and individuals. ?Another company I work with locally, MHM Glass Etchings, credits me with helping increase their sales by 45% forcing them to move into a new space over 5 times larger than the space they were in when I started working with them. ?I got to work with every aspect of the Company: ?Production Crew on Supervision and Management, Sales/Marketing team on “influence” and the Execs (Owner and CEO) on Business Growth Strategy. ?When I got the text from the CEO in late December thanking me for helping them reach 45% increase in revenue over the previous year, I was feeling very good about myself for sure!
  • Education:?Professor Klubeck is just one of the many hats I wear. This past semester I’ve been wearing this hat more than usual. I received a last minute request to take on an extra class and happily accepted thinking about how much I LOVE to?educate future business leaders. ?In Fall, I taught 4 classes…1 in the Summer and 3 in the Spring…totaling 8 classes and over 240 students I helped get past the fear of Public Speaking. ?This is incredibly rewarding…but I am looking forward to “only” having 2 classes to teach this Spring!
  • Giving Back: ?It was an honor being chosen to speak?at my?alma mater this past October. I presented?to SDSU’s International Business Society on Fearless Public Speaking. Being back on?my old stomping grounds was a treat in itself. Being able to help?students who are in the exact same shoes I once was in life, made my day.

Jeff Klubeck Teaching at SDSU

  • At Home: ?My daughter Abigail sold more Girl Scout Cookies than anyone else in her troupe…played a season of soccer…did a week at a Theatre Troup Camp…rocked Gymnastics classes and has been an AMAZING big sister to Brody (our 3 year old). ? Meanwhile, my son A.J. also played another season of soccer but baseball is his real focus! ?He made All-Stars and started the Championship Game at Pitcher in their tournament. ?He also played?on a couple travel ball teams (he even won a ring at a summer tournament with the SoCal Thunder!). ?I got to Manage his Little League team (and will again in 2016) ?and also volunteered to be on the Board of Directors for our Little League. ?Giving back to the community through youth sports is incredibly rewarding and the friendships we build among the families in the community through youth sports is awesome. ?Last, but certainly not least, Mary Ann “rose to stardom” this year in her career…she was given a sizable retention bonus to stay with her company through its merger with Becton-Dickinson and now she holds a Director-level position with one of the largest Medical Technology companies in the world. ?She now has had to do a lot of work-related travel, but she is being HANDSOMELY rewarded with Corporate Compensation and I am committed to LOVING my “Triple Daddy Duty” time with the kids when she is gone. ?After all, I started my own business to have a flexible schedule for being with my kids…and, I got it! ?Seriously, my wife and kids are incredible and I wake up every day asking myself what I can do today to feel like I deserve them…next thing you know, I am out of bed and helping people grow personally and professionally. ?It’s cool.
  • Bucket List: ?If you know me, you know I’m all about balance and having a healthy?”work hard, play hard” mentality. ?So I got to finish off the year by scratching a couple items off the Bucket List. ?I was invited to go to Boston with “T-Bone”?to visit his aging Grandparents (whom I’ve know since 1986 but haven’t seen in over a decade). ?If you caught my?recent?Drive-By Coaching video, about repairing cherished relationships, you may remember that “T-Bone” is Terrence…my best friend from high school. We had a falling out?6 years ago but he reached out to me in November and we had a great weekend in San Diego in early December and then went to Boston together for the last week of the year. ?We saw Kobe Bryant’s last game in Boston…toured the Samuel Adams Brewery…visited my cousin Zach who had graduated Northeastern University earlier in the year…had a couple great meals with his grandparents (whom I may have seen for the last time) and watched the ball drop on the east coast for the first time in my life. ?A truly incredible way to end 2015 and ring in 2016!!!

So, what are your successes from the past year? How did you ring?in 2016? ?Let me know in the comments below. ?Meanwhile, I am wishing you a happy and prosperous KLU?year in 2016!!

To Your Success!

Jeffrey Klubeck, M.A.

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