Mind The Gap: Hearing vs Listening!

Mind The Gap:  Hearing vs Listening!
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Hearing vs Listening

In the London Underground, “Mind the Gap” is the constant warning to see and beware of the space between the platform and the train door literally a matter of life and death! Boarding my blog, however, “Mind the Gap” is a 2-minute focus on the valuable difference between words or concepts that, without much thought, are otherwise used interchangeably.

What IS the difference, for example, between Hearing vs Listening

First we all know that  just because you hear something doesn’t mean you are -listening- People often confuse the two by saying “yes I heard you” when in reality all they heard is noise rather than the actual words that were spoken.

Ever heard the joke/platitude:“Why did God give us one mouth but 2 ears? Because you should be listening twice as much you are talking!” What’s great about this is the reality that we, indeed, benefit more from listening than talking. The problem with it is how it sub-consciously gets us to associate listening with our EARS. Ears are for HEARING.

Hearing is Physiological but Listening is PSYCHO-logical! You hear with your ears, but you listen with your mind.

Sure, Listening “involves” Hearing…but also some other important “I-N-G’s” as well. When we Listen it is because we are hearing, attending, understanding, remembering, evaluating and ultimately responding!

Think about this: What is we invited ALL of our senses to the Listening Party? Think about it. Everything that appeals to our senses can be “listened” to the same way anything that is “heard” can.

For example, are you hungry right now? If you could anything in the world right now, what would it be? Did you find yourself “listening” to your body to “hear/feel” what “sounds good” to eat right now?

What about when the Dr. asks you, “does it hurt here? Here? Here? On a scale of 1-10, how bad would you say the pain is when I do this? This? This?” ?Aren’t you then sending your “mind’s eye” to the place on your arm he’s feeling for a break?

What about when the milk in the fridge is down to the last 10% and the “best by” date is borderline…don’t you smell the milk to see if its good to drink or not? Don’t you “listen to your nose” in that case?

Ever feel your way to a door knob in the dark/middle of the night? When you can’t see and are on your way to the bathroom in a place you aren’t familiar with and you are inching slowly in the direction of the door with your hand out “feeling for” the door so you don’t walk into it face first.

If we trade the word “hearing” with “observing” we’ll invite ALL of our senses to the Listening Party which highlights what listening is TRULY all about: The attention we pay to what we are observing!

Listening Get a Klu Listening

Listening is something many think they are good at while OTHERS are bad at it…but trust me when I tell you we ALL suck. Why? Because we all have egos…and the ego doesn’t want to listen. Why? Because listening makes us vulnerable…it takes control away…we might “hear” something we don’t like, don’t agree with, don’t “sit well with” etc. In my opinion, listening is LOVE (the willingness to be vulnerable so either you or your beloved may grow).

Equating it with love, you will learn that listening can be just as valuable, if not more, than talking. You’ll often hear things that allow you to serve yourself and the other party better (example in my recent post about listening to elevator pitches).

One of my favorite quotes about listening is from Steven Covey (RIP). “Seek first to understand, and then to be understood”. If you listen to others and understand their situation, you’ll be in a much better place to then reply be of service.

If you are interested in learning about the barriers to listening, forms of non-listening or practice the skills of Active Listening, consider scheduling TWO Complimentary Sessions!

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Cookies & Cocktails at The University Club was a HIT!

Cookies & Cocktails at The University Club was a HIT!
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Cookies and Cocktails was a HIT!  Yes, tt’s that time of year again…GIRL SCOUT cookie time!  I am the proud father of an amazing Girl Scout, Abigail, who has been enjoying her time with Troupe 3121 for over 4 years.  I’m happy to see her learning so many life skills through the great experiences and friendships Abigail gets through Girl Scouts.

troop 3121 Get A Klu Cookies and CocktailsAnd, let’s face it:  the cookies are delicious!  While I maintain some great eating habits (kale smoothies, wheatgrass shots, no ice cream or soda, 5 gallons of water a week), I cannot resist good, old-fashioned girl scout cookie (my favorite is…whichever one I am eating!).

Cookies and Cocktails with Get A Klu

Naturally, I’m excited to help my daughter reach her Cookie sale goals and I took an idea to “my club”, The University Club,  when I asked the food and beverage director (Jeff Apodaca) if he could pair wine/beer/cocktails with each flavor of Girl Scout Cookie and do an event…well, he LOVED my idea and the event took place last Wednesday the 15th…I am hoping it was successful enough to repeat this year or in years to come!

Cookies and Cocktails, Get A Klu, Troop 3121, Girl ScoutsI am SO grateful to the University Club for taking my idea and running with it. I was JUST hoping there would be pairings, but they generously gave a FREE DRINK ticket to everyone who bought cookies!

I know that many of you wanted to get to this great event, but couldn’t…so while I work with The University ClubShannon Parsons, Cookies and Cocktails, the University Club, Get A Klu to see about doing more events like this in the future, you can still buy your cookies, donate to operation thin mints and support Abigail with an online purchase!

Online Cookie sales benefit my daughter’s Troupe 3121 from Rancho Penasquitos.

Online sales have all your favorites, including Samoas, Tagalongs, Thin Mints, and more!

Online Cookie sales give you the option of delivery by mail OR in person!  We will gladly come see you wherever you need us to!  Thank you so much to everyone who supports Abigail and Troupe 3121 this year!

To Your Success!

Jeffrey Klubeck, M.A.

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Elevator Pitch Tips

Elevator Pitch Tips
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As you know, this month I’m talking all about relationships. ALL forms…from friendships,?romantic, and one of my favorites: ?business?relationships. Most?people have no idea how to start building a business relationship. This is why you see so many people attend a standard networking event,?passing?out their card after introducing themselves for one minute with?the dreaded “elevator pitch”. This strategy is not only ineffective, it’s not personal and can turn off your prospective clients and business connections.

Even though?the?elevator pitches can seem inauthentic, they are necessary because everyone still asks “What do you do?”

So,?I’ve come up with some strategies on how to have an elevator speech, be authentic and have?the “what do you do?”?question be a gateway for building positive business relationships. ?What do you think of these?

1. Let others share first- The first thing I recommend doing is to ask others to share their story. You’ve heard this before, right? ?Ask THEM?questions that you would need to answer in order to find out if there is a good fit for working together. People love talking about themselves, so let others speak and listen without feeling the need to jump in and say something about yourself elevator Listening Relationships Get A Klu Loveright away.

You’ve heard all that before, I know. ?But HERE’s why its REALLY important to “let them go first”…because then you’ll know how to “edit” your elevator pitch on the spot based on who they are and what you’ve “diagnosed” about them. ?In other words, I don’t have one elevator pitch…I have many…and many more are thought up ON THE SPOT when I listen to what someone else is all about, I am able to craft an elevator pitch that “speaks to THEIR listening!” ?Wanna know how?

2. Solve a problem-?When it is time for you to speak, make sure you share a problem that you’re able to solve. Don’t just say something generic like “I sell homes” or “I work in finance”. Be more specific on the exact problem that you’re solving with your profession. And if you followed my first step on letting other’s speak first, then you can customize your reply.

3. Discuss your competitive advantage– If you are unsure of how to start talking about your competitive advantage, I wrote a post in the past that will help. Check it out, Competitive Advantage answers TWO questions.

  • the things you do BETTER than anyone else that also does them (“sell real estate” “manage assets” “sell insurance” “prosecute bad guys”, etc.) AND/OR
  • the things you do that NOBODY ELSE DOES!

I personally offer 2 complimentary coaching sessions as one of my competitive advantages and I have several others. ?The point here is that you’ll need to be aware of ALL of yours and mention the right ones at the right time…with the right person!

4. Listen for how YOU can help THEM- And I don’t mean by selling them what you sell. ?Listen with a purpose of knowing what they do and what opportunities or challenges they are facing right now IN CASE you know of someone that they should know…or a book they should read…or an article they should read…or a strategy they should consider. ?The person that is TRULY out to help other people will ALWAYS be on the fast track to building a great relationship! ?I believe it was Zig Ziglar who said we can have EVERYTHING we want if we just focus on helping others get what THEY want! ?I believe this fully…how can I help?

5. Take the next step- Think of it like a first date. After the end of the night, both parties may be wondering who should contact the other person first. “Should I text a thank you so he/she knows I’m interested?”, “Should I set up another date right away or does that make me seem too eager?” ?”Do I wait three days?” ?You get the idea.

elevator Get a Klu Lunch with Marketing Melodie and MobiltivityWhen meeting someone for the first time in a business setting, always take the initiative to follow up first. Do this beyond the generic “Nice to meet you email”. You can send them a post you wrote that relates to a challenge they shared, you can invite them to an upcoming event they may find interesting, or set up a time to connect again over lunch. Make your follow up personal! ?I have always been a BIG fan of the handwritten note.

Those are just a few of my tips on building business relationships…there’s always a lot more to say on these subjects. ?What are YOUR favorite strategies for professional networking and relationship building? ?I’d love to see your comments.

 

 

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