During my visit to London for the 2012 Summer Games I got inspired for a blog series. In the London Underground, “Mind the Gap” is the constant warning to “see and beware” of the space between the platform and the train door literally a matter of life and death! Boarding my blog, however, this same phrase is a plea to consider the “valuable difference” between words or concepts that otherwise appear quite similar a difference that I am hoping leads us to decisions or behavior that empowers self and others!
It seems obvious to explain that jealousy is negative, whereas admiration is positive. Both, of course, are reactions to someone else who possesses something we value but do not also possess. But why does jealousy see through lenses of scarcity, while admiration looks through abundantly rose-colored glasses?
When we really put our mind on the gap between jealousy and admiration, starting at one and stretching to the other, we see a continuum of self-esteem and efficacy. This is the degree to which we believe we are worthy, capable, and virtually assured of having the life we want.
The lower our self-esteem and efficacy, the more likely we are to be jealous of another’s possessions and accomplishments. Conversely, the higher our self-esteem and efficacy (the degree to which we believe we can have or achieve anything we want in life) the more likely we are to experience admiration of another’s possessions and accomplishments.
So, Mind The Gap between Jealousy and Admiration! The difference is HUGE, isn’t it?
In much the same way it is impossible to be simultaneously angry and grateful, it also is impossible to feel 100% capable of self-actualization, and at the exact same time react negatively to anyone else’s actualization (possessions, accomplishments, happiness, fulfillment). It is the difference between being threatened by a high-achiever (because they expose our lack of achievement) and being motivated by a high-achiever (because they remind us of our abundant capabilities)!
While both words represent a reaction to someone or something OUTSIDE of ourselves, the real difference between jealousy and admiration is a function of the beliefs INSIDE ourselves! Believing in scarcity, we are jealous and with-out, while believing in abundance we?re in admiration and with-in!
Professional coaching can be of great assistance in shifting from a scarce to abundant mindset. If stinking-thinking is in the way of fulfilling personal or professional relationships, consider talking it over with a Get a Klu Certified Coach? the first two sessions are on us!